How is everyone? I know I haven’t posted in a while. I decided to take a short break; down time, so that I could, (as Debbie Allen would say) Relax, Relate and Release! (The link is a comical reminder in case you forgot!)
This year so far has been a whirlwind! Full of change! I’ve had a lot of transition in my life; changes in my professional, personal and family life… you name it. In a matter of months, there have been significant changes in just about every aspect of my life. Mostly good, although, a few have presented some challenges. However, all in all, I am on course and lovin’ life…
Having said that, the process of my change has been stressful! You know… handling the logistics of change. I really needed to take some time to take it all in and process it. Then last week, a dear friend and mentor called me on the phone to ask how I was. During our conversation, he said, “So TDanyel, what is on the horizon for Hello Family?” (In other words, “Oh… Trace…. Don’t you think it’s time to update your blog, dear? I’m getting tired of reading the same old thing every time I go there! LOL – thanks for the friendly reminder, Brother Ray!)
So as I sat here trying to focus on a topic, I began thinking about all the change going on with me. I also began reflecting on the many people I have met recently in my new line of work as a workforce development professional. Many of my clients are middle aged and facing a change in their career. Some are having to change jobs, industries and even having to go back to school for retraining. The change they are facing is difficult to say the least. Some are fighting depression, fear and a sense of hopelessness. So, I dedicate this posting to them and the process of CHANGE.
Exactly, What is Change?
Technically, Change is the “act or process of making something, or someone different.”
Moving from one situation to another; creating a new reality; or circumstance, are all expressions of change. Other words that describe change include; translate; alter, shift, vary, exchange, mutate and transform. Change can be for the worst or for the best; depending on the person’s perception of change. Change is inequitable; it isn’t a respecter of race, class, socio-economic status; political affiliation, or any of that… Everyone, at some point will go through change…
Change can sometimes be uncomfortable because it forces us out of comfort zone; even when the change is good. The difficulty has to do with the rippling effects of change in your life. It forces you to create new routines, new ways of thinking or believing and new perceptions of the world around you.
Since change is inevitable, trying to avoid it will only lead to more stress, resentment and disillusionment. Those who are most successful in life tend to welcome change and look at it as an adventure; an opportunity for growth and life fulfillment. Think of the chameleon; able to change color in an instant. Your goal should be to be like a chameleon and have the ability to shift when the situation warrants it. So learn how to let change happen, enjoy the ride; go with the flow….
I was doing some research recently to help a person who had been laid off after 25 years of working at one job. This person had spent a significant portion of their professional life at a company, but was laid off because the company was moving jobs overseas. (That’s a change we don’t need!) In preparing to meet with this person, I ran across an article on how to handle change. It really helped! So I thought it would be good to share with you.
Taken from 6 Strategies to Handle Transition Fears, by Dr. Eva M. Selhub (The Huffington Post)
(This part of the article focuses on how your brain and body react to your fear of change; causing anxiety and stress; outcomes, obviously, you want to avoid. Here Dr. Selhub offers some advice on how to handle the fear of change.
Here are some tips to shift your physiology:
- Allow yourself to feel fear, anger or whatever negative emotion you feel — you have every right to feel this way.
- Connect with others: reach out to friends or other loved ones or a therapist or counselor and ask them for help. Tell them you don’t want advice, but just to be held; to have a space held for you so that you can rest and heal.
- Connect with your beautiful self: Do something loving for yourself because you deserve it — massage, retreat, etc. I call these “love me gifts.”
- Practice self-love always — do not berate yourself. Hug yourself. Look in the mirror and keep saying “You are fabulous!”
- Connect with something larger than you — you can take a walk in nature or you can connect with your imagination: Imagine golden light shining down upon you surrounding you in unconditional love and grace like a shield of light (Part of my SHIELD techniques). You can imagine a divine presence like a divine mother or father holding you and nurturing as if you were a baby. As you allow yourself to be held, say these words to yourself: “The support I need is here. I am loved and lovable.” Say these words often, over and over and eventually the subconscious will accept them as truth.
- Practice laughing out loud — start by saying Hahahahahaha slowly and then faster and faster. Laughter is the best medicine
“You have to break up the fear response, even if only for a short period. When you feel better, your transition just might move more smoothly.”
Family, the last one, “Laughing out loud” is my personal favorite! LOL (smile)
Well, it’s getting late and I have to get ready for work. One more thing before I end.
I am writing this post a few days after the horrible shooting in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado… Imagine the change our family and friends out there are faced with… May I offer my personal condolences and prayers for healing and peace for all those affected… Selah….
Click on the link for a short musical reminder about change… Embrace the change in your life…. Hope you enjoy…
Talk to you later!